"As long as I kept his secret, I would be at his mercy" - Lady Zamar speaks out on Unfollowed

What happens to a celeb who’s been cancelled? Each Wednesday from 23 August, Showmax Original series Unfollowed takes us to meet South African stars who are wrestling with life after social media death. From Lady Zamar to musician Jub Jub and comedian Tol Ass Mo, they’ll share an intimate hour of their truth, one on one with news anchor and journalist Thembekile Mrototo.

Watch the trailer for Unfollowed

“My reality became a focal point of entertainment … It was horrific.” 

In 2018, singer-songwriter Yamikani Janet Banda – better known as Lady Zamar – used her social platform to confront a fellow musician for allegedly sexually assaulting her back in 2017. He maintains his innocence and The National Prosecuting Authority declined to prosecute, citing insufficient evidence. As of August 2023, the backlash continues online.

“It was shocking, really, how my narrative, and my story, and my reality became a focal point of entertainment,” says Lady Zamar in Unfollowed. “It was horrific, to just be in a constant state of being reminded of this thing all the time.” 

“I struggled to walk away from it because I constantly blamed myself.” 

In Unfollowed, Lady Zamar speaks to how she wound up in a long-term relationship that she claims began in rape, and why it took her so long to accept what had happened to her and speak out.

“I come from a very religious background, and I was taught not to be alone with men," she says. “The very first day, I felt like it was my fault. And so I felt like I had no leg to stand on… I struggled to walk away from it because I constantly blamed myself. ”

She later adds, “I've always known love, because of my background, to come from a place of fear because with my father it was always like that. It was very abusive. And so it was so easy for me to be like, ‘Okay, so I guess this is what I've been looking for my entire life’. But I knew deep down that it wasn't. It was a constant violation because I felt obligated.”

“Because I always felt like it was my fault, I never put the words ‘sexual assault’ to it.” 

Lady Zamar believes that it took a friend directly telling her that what she’d been through was rape, for her to start freeing herself. “Because I always felt like it was my fault, I never put the words ‘sexual assault’ to it,” she says. “A friend of mine said, ‘When somebody does this without your consent, it is rape.’ But I was like, ‘There's no way! I’m Lady Zamar. Who the hell is going to do that to me?’ It took a very long time for me to get to the point where I was able to say it with my mouth, process it with my mind.”

“It was a matter of my safety.” 

When Lady Zamar opened up on social media, she had a sense of what was to come. “My team had said, ‘Listen, people will not believe you because of the time,’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, I understand that. But this is not about whether people believe me or not.’ It was a matter of my safety…  I knew that as long as I kept his secret, I would be at his mercy.”

In Unfollowed, Lady Zamar also addresses issues like finding herself cast in the role of the other woman, why she pulled out of the sexual assault court case, and the impact that CPTSD (compound post-traumatic stress disorder), depression, and being unfollowed have had on her life and career. And, ultimately, why her freedom has been worth the price.

Nomsa Philiso, CEO of MultiChoice's general entertainment division, describes Unfollowed as an opportunity for us to reflect on cancel culture and its place in pop culture - a chance to interrogate whether it’s the best way to deal with people who have been deemed problematic. The show interviews public figures who were cancelled on social media and lets the viewer decide if the treatment in each case was deserved.

Watch Unfollowed S1 on Showmax, with new episodes on Wednesdays: