1 August 2018

25 thoughts I had watching The River for the first time

There isn’t a more rewarding feeling than finding a new great show just when you thought there wasn’t anything else out there that could wow you. This week, that show for me has been The River, a South African show produced by Connie and Shona Ferguson. The River sets the stage for a ruthless world where the haves and have-nots find themselves caught up in a gripping and bloody “survival of the fittest” battle, highlighting the greed and evil that comes into play when the two worlds collide.

Here, you will meet the mighty and powerful Lindiwe, a woman with a stare so intense I had to come up with an adverb for it – stares at something Lindiwely aka the death stare.

Nobody double-crosses Lindiwe and gets away with it.

N.O.B.O.D.Y!

Only 20:00 will tell what's next in store for Zweli. In the meantime, get your #TheRiver1Magic binge on with @Showmax –> https://t.co/MHQ9fL5G6l pic.twitter.com/LDUwF1jQeH

— 1max (@1max_TV) July 30, 2018

Lindiwe Dlamini is a force of nature, a self-made diamond mogul who has no qualms about getting blood on her hands to protect her empire. On the other side, you will meet the young beauty Itumeleng Mokoena, a firecracker who is not afraid to turn the world upside down to protect the people she loves – the real thorn in Lindiwe’s flesh.

The River is now streaming on Showmax »

This show will give you all kinds of feels, and boy, all so worth it. I had a trainwreck of emotions watching it for the first time, and yes I found myself screaming some of these thoughts.

1. Oh crap, what’s going on? I guess we’ll just jump right to it. Maybe this is a dream. Lindiwe can’t possibly bury her alive, can she? I mean, the show has just begun.

2. I wasn’t ready. Rest in peace Tumi Mokoena.

3. How does Lindiwe still manage to slay this hard after burying someone alive? The River, we need fashion tips.

4. This music score is really making me nervous.

5. Now I need a drink too Lindiwe, but make that tequila shots.

6. Would it hurt to play the voice message a little louder for us nosy fans?

7. They are really toying with our emotions with this tense music.

8. Poor Lindiwe, I barely knew you. There’s just no catching a break with this show. The River, explain yourself, who hurt you?

9. Oh look, we are back to one year earlier. With that emotionally jarring opening, God knows we need some explanation.

10. I kind of want to learn this language they are singing the birthday song in. Come to think of it, there is no happy birthday song translation in my local language…not that I’m complaining but I feel cheated.

11. Isn’t the birthday girl the one who’s just been…never mind. I’m too nosy.

12. Too much information there Zweli, the man loves his queen…err murderous wife.

13. Look at the Dlamini family making jokes and eating breakfast together, such a perfect and normal family…laughs on the outside, cries on the inside.

14. Look at Thato Mokoena standing up for the oppressed. Preach Mr Mokoena, preach. You are doing amazing, sweetie.

15. “We need to take this woman to court.” If your courts are anything like ours (Kenya), we apologise in advance.

16. Who abandons a child by the river? Thato Mokoena, God bless your soul.

17. Itumeleng – Tumi. Okay, I’m starting to connect the dots.

18. It’s not every day that you find a huge diamond just floating in the river, I should try fishing some time.

19. Don’t tell them about the diamond Thato, turn around and run. Anytime now Thato, run. DON’T…*face palms*.

20. Such empty promises from Lindiwe. I weep for your hopes, Thato.

21. I see evil wheels turning in Lindiwe’s head. Don’t take them to the river, Thato. This is not going to end well.

22. Major flashback from Lindiwe, someone hold me. I AM FREAKING OUT! I think Lindiwe is Itumeleng’s mother. But that opening scene…I need my oxygen mask.

23. “You think I’m stupid?” Wow, Thato, wow. You think?

24. Poor Thato (cries myself to sleep). Damn Lindiwe, what has the world done to you?

25. Fade out as Lindiwe looks into the sunset Lindiwely.

I’m curious to see where this is going. Don’t forget to stream The River on Showmax, new episodes every night, plus every single episode to date from the very beginning. Watch now »