A beginner’s guide to the Premier League

25 August 2022

A beginner’s guide to the Premier League

Maybe it’s a crush of yours that you’re trying to get closer to. Maybe it’s a group of football fans that you need to fit in with. Maybe it’s a give-and-take viewing arrangement you have with your partner at home: “Okay, you got to watch your show. Now we get to watch what I want to watch.”

If you’re in a situation where you feel trapped to watch the Premier League on Showmax Pro (where every game streams live courtesy of SuperSport), don’t worry. Football’s easy, and the Premier League is the easiest.

Here’s a go-to guide for all the major clubs to give you all the context you need to show support for whoever you need to support, and, probably more importantly, how to give relevant abuse to other clubs to make sure that your insults hit soft spots.

Manchester United

What you need to know about them

They used to win everything, but how the mighty have fallen. Ever since their legendary manager Sir Alex Ferguson left eight years ago, the quality and fear factor that they possessed have eroded away.

They’re owned by the Glazers – an American family with clearly no interest in football who are more concerned with flogging the loyal support base for all the merchandise they can sell rather than do their best to build a winning football team.

But hey, they’ve brought in a new manager and after two disastrous losses, they just beat Liverpool. So things are looking up for now, but there’s always a calamity just around the corner.

What fans say about them

If they’re not harping on about any #GlazersOut agenda, they’re probably saying that all their problems will be solved by bringing in players who care about the club.

What rivals say about them

“They’re living in the past. United are irrelevant.”

Liverpool

What you need to know about them

After 30 years without winning the title (and a whole generation of fans that never saw them win the title), Liverpool lifted the holy grail of the Premier League trophy in 2020, which affirmed that they are well and truly “back”.

They’re managed by Jurgen Klopp, an incredibly likeable and funny German who’s earned himself a messianic status.

Other than that solitary title win, they usually just come second behind Manchester City in agonising title challenges.

They’ve started poorly this season, so out of the big clubs, they are the current holders of the banter baton.

What fans say about them

They usually can’t stop praising Jurgen Klopp. If they’re not doing that, they’re probably debating who their forwards should be now that Sadio Mane has left the club.

What rivals say about them

“A bit of success is getting to their heads.”

Arsenal

What you need to know about them

After a few years of any title hopes being laughable, Arsenal optimism is climbing as they’ve started the season with three wins out of three and sit at the top of the table.

They’re managed by Mikel Arteta, a former player at the club who has gradually improved the team’s play and is reaping some rewards.

They’ve recently signed Gabriel Jesus as their new striker – a player who won many titles at Manchester City, but struggled to make their first team and now has a point to prove.

What fans say about them

“I’m not saying we’ll win the league, but the top four is a real possibility.”

The top four is important as all those teams qualify for the UEFA Champions League, which gives teams prestige and money, and shields them from banter unlike other big clubs when they miss out.

Arsenal and Manchester United missed out on qualification, and fans will be reminded constantly throughout the season of that.

What rivals say about them

“Don’t worry. They’ll fall away. After all, they’re still Arsenal.”

Manchester City

What you need to know about them

They never used to feature among the top sides, but when some Abu Dhabi squillionaires took over in 2008, everything changed as they spent hundreds of millions to bring in a host of quality players and now they dominate domestically.

“Domestically” is the key word. They really want to win the UEFA Champions League, but keep finding strange and imaginative ways to underachieve on the European stage.

The club are constantly teased for not having any true fans and that anyone who says they support them is doing it just to jump on a bandwagon of success stemming from their newfound wealth.

Despite the haters, as a neutral, they are without doubt the best club to watch in the league. If anyone can win a game 8-0, it’s them.

What fans say about them

“Everyone keeps going on about the money, but no-one gives us credit for the football that we play.”

What rivals say about them

“They’re nothing without the money, but man, they play great football”.

Chelsea

What you need to know about them

They used to be in Manchester City’s shoes when the Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich bought the club in 2003 and propelled them to league and Champions League titles.

Other clubs have caught up with them since then and with Abramovich leaving the club last season, there’s an air of uncertainty around the future.

There are still good players all over their squad, so there’s a belief that if it comes to the worst, it still won’t be that bad.

What fans say about them

Modern Chelsea fans staunchly praises their manager Thomas Tuchel as a tactical genius. This is often a way to cover up that they don’t actually understand the tactics at all.

What rivals say about them

“Not as bad as City, but they still don’t have any real history.”

Tottenham Hotspur

What you need to know about them

The definition of “Spursy” is the innate quality that they have of falling short of success no matter how promising it looks.

For a leading side, they have a history of being flaky and inconsistent.

However, they are in their second season under Antonio Conte, an aggressive Italian whose sheer urge to win seeps out of every pore. They are back in the Champions League and are definitely a club on the up.

What fans say about them

“Look, I’m not saying we’ll win the league, but third place is on!”

What rivals say about them

“Look, I’m not saying they’ll win the league, because they won’t.”

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Subscribers can live stream the latest seasons of the English Premier League, La Liga, Serie A, UEFA Europa and UEFA Conference leagues, as well as FIFA World Cup qualifiers and more.

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