22 July 2022
Lindiwe vs Nomafu: which queen will reign in The River S5?
Lindiwe Dlamini-Dikana’s (Sindi Dlathu) enemies wind up six feet under … give or take a foot or other missing limb. And she doesn’t leave evidence at the crime scene. All it takes is a call to her henchman and her opponent vanishes into thin air.
But for the first time in telenovela The River’s history, Lindiwe has met her match in a woman just as ruthless, cunning and vindictive as she is: Nomafu Hlophe (Brenda Mhlongo). These women are like two bulls in a kraal, and they won’t rest until one of them is dead.
They’re playing a dangerous and twisted game of tit-for-tat, by provoking each other and sending wild animals to each other’s homes. That’s the final nail in the coffin for a possible friendship. At this point, they’re writing each other’s eulogies for the day they kill each other. May the best woman win.
Read more to find out about their game of “who will instil the most fear”. Lindiwe and Nomafu deserve a cluster of grapes in their hands because they should be cast in one of the local Housewives franchises. The shade, the shade of it all …
The trip that sparks a war between Lindiwe and Nomafu
Lindiwe’s biggest issue with Nomafu is that she refuses to take her orders. Sure, Nomafu’s husband Bukhosi (Bheki Mkhwane) has bought shares in Lindiwe’s mine, Khanyisa Diamonds, but that doesn’t mean that Nomafu is allowed to walk around and do as she pleases.
The worst part is that Nomafu assigns herself as Head of Public Relations at Khanyisa. She sends out press releases whenever she feels like it, but what really gets on Lindiwe’s nerves is when Nomafu organises a trip to Kenya with clients. At first, Lindiwe asks Nomafu to cancel the excursion and when that doesn’t work, the mine owner goes to extremes to stop Nomafu.
Remember that call to the henchman we mentioned earlier? Well, Lindiwe makes it and all she says is “it’s time”. And just like that, Lindiwe starts her war with Nomafu.
Lindiwe and Nomafu’s war has fans glued to their screens
Lindiwe sends snakes
Within hours of the call, Lindiwe puts her plan into action. She calls a lunch meeting with Bukhosi and his sons while Nomafu prepares for her trip. When Nomafu steps out of the shower, she gets the shock of her life: she’s met by a dozen snakes on the bathroom floor. She doesn’t even have time to think of how they got there. She tries to call for help but there’s no one there as Lindiwe has ensured that she’s home alone … nakes … with snakes.
After shedding tears and saying a little prayer, Nomafu gathers a little bit of courage and plans her escape. “I have faced bigger and more dangerous snakes in my life,” says Nomafu, while wailing. As she tries to run out of the shower, one of the snakes grabs her ankle and she falls facedown on the floor with a wet splat. It’s a miracle that Nomafu makes it out alive. Certain that Lindiwe is behind the incident, she schemes to settle the score.
Nomafu gets revenge
Lindiwe has just poked the bear or taunted the bull (these two are a full zoo together). When Nomafu learns that Lindiwe can’t make it to her daughter’s umemulo, she gets even.
Just like Nomafu was, Lindiwe is home alone and as she is busy with her 10-step skin routine after her shower, she hears growling and footsteps. When she sticks her head out of the bathroom, she sees a cheetah – a real-life, walking and hungry cheetah, in her bedroom. This is NOT one of the 10 steps. Lindiwe loses it! She calls Nomafu immediately. “I wanted to copy your style and send you a snake or an anaconda, but I thought you’d say I was a copycat. I opted to send a cheetah your way, girl,” quips Nomafu, to which Lindiwe responds: “You’ll regret this.”
Lindiwe grabs a gun from her closet while the cheetah wanders around, and she kills it. She heaves a sigh of relief, before delivering the cheetah’s head, in a plastic bag, to the Hlophe home (count the environmental sins there!). The claws are out, and this war is far from over.
Fans of The River are divided about the war
Watch new episodes of The River S5, now streaming on Showmax.
Subterranea, now streaming
Nai-Rich on Showmax
The best movies to stream
Immaculate and 3 more holy terrors to witness on Showmax
Convent or coven? We take a peek under the wimple at what nuns are up to in Immaculate, The Conjuring 2, The Nun II and The Exorcist: Believer.
Dev Patel on Monkey Man and 7 martial arts must-sees
Dev Patel reveals how he gave kung fu movies an Indian twist in revenge thriller Monkey Man. And we pick a fight with 7 epic martial arts shows.
8 movies to match your every mood
Whether you’re feeling anxious, joyful, or a bit lonely, there’s the perfect movie waiting for you on Showmax.
Arthur the King and 10 more dog stars to love
Find out how Arthur the King became an adventure dog and meet 10 more stars who’re making us sit up and beg for more.