The Mommy Club Sugar & Spice: Stepmothers unite

There was excitement all around after Abigail invited Neetasha for dinner at her house. According to Abigail, Neetasha has now become special to her, and she was more than happy to invite her to her home. The two ladies have a few things in common, including working in the same industry and having stepchildren.  

“I realised at the baby shower that we have quite a lot in common now. So, I thought it would be really nice send her an invite to have dinner with me at my home and also just to connect over her experience as a newlywed and being a stepmom,” Abigail explained. When Neetasha arrived, she received a warm welcome and the ladies started chatting about their lives. Although Abigail was forthcoming with information, she felt like Neetasha wasn’t as open.  

Mother or friend?  

“So, when I enter a room, it takes a very long time for me to share my life. I firstly need to know who I’m speaking with before I can speak, in essence,” Neetasha said. The chat moved to their roles as stepmothers. Abigail told Neetasha that they’re young stepmoms and that it’s exciting. “It’s a challenge and it can also be something that you grow from,” she said.  

Neetasha, however, doesn’t see it as a challenge. “I believe that marrying a man with kids is more of a blessing and not a circumstance. And I understood who I was marrying and very openly accepted his children,” she shared. She told Abigail that she’s more of a “friend” figure to her stepchildren. “Being a friend is a good start. However, I still require a level of respect as a stepmom. And I think it’s difficult to forge when you don’t know that that’s the next step because you could easily stay in the friend zone, which is dangerous,” Abigail said.  

A revolutionised era 

Neetasha seemed to understand where Abigail – who’s been married for 13 years – was coming from. “She was a stepmother in a different generation. I’m now in a more revolutionised era so, I think that’s where it differed.” 

Neetasha also loves the fact that Abigail has many years of experience in her role, however, she has a difference of opinion when it comes to her marriage and being a stepmother. “I don’t find my marriage or my stepmotherhood any struggle whatsoever. If anything, it’s joy, it’s happiness, it’s laughter,” she said.  

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