Shannon Esra on playing Still Breathing’s strong, flawed Candice

On the surface, Still Breathing‘s Candice is the woman every girl deserves as a best friend, a true ride or die who’ll do anything for those she loves. 

She has it all: looks, brains and a soaring career, coupled with the freedom of singledom. She’s the shoulder to lean on who never falters. But a tragedy turns her world upside down. 

We chatted to Shannon Esra about her experience playing this strong, complex character. 

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Warning: Spoilers ahead if you have not watched Still Breathing yet! 

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What were your first thoughts about Candice when you read the script? 

When I first read the scripts, my heart broke for Candice. I was instantly attracted to her struggle of losing the man she loves (the trauma of the car accident aside) and then not being allowed to share the full extent of her grief around his death. 

Candice has to silence herself in every way because if she doesn’t and exposes herself, she would unleash the horrifying and tormenting secret of betrayal. A secret that has caused her crippling guilt. 

I was compelled by the idea that she accepted what she had with him. She never wanted more, and that made me curious. Why? Why was this relationship all she thought she deserved? I was intrigued by the idea of not being allowed to express the truth, for fear of further hurt and upset. She had no one to blame but herself and the isolation she experiences was compelling to me as a performer.

One of the most shocking scenes was when Candice had to leave Trent dead in the car. For you, which was the most difficult scene to perform? 

That was a tough shoot day for me, honestly. But one of the most upsetting days was shooting the scene when Candice gives up her baby. It is such a quick scene, it’s a snippet of her experience, but for me, the idea that giving the baby up was her only option was devastating.

Candice is a complex character who’s suffered a lot – but there’s a lot to be learned from her mistakes. What has Candice taught you?

She is so strong, utterly self-reliant, and resilient. But what she taught me, or rather, re-enforced in me, is that it’s no one’s place to judge who or how we love. Unless we have all the facts, we have no idea about the intricacies in any relationship. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not condoning adultery! Or betraying a friend! But, I don’t think it’s fair that she’s the only one vilified for the affair. Trent loses all accountability in death, and also because he was a man. It is somehow more tolerable for a man to cheat. A man can find redemption and be forgiven, but for a woman, we are crucified by society. The double standards infuriate me. This needs to change.

If Candice were a real-life individual whom you knew, what advice would you give her?

I would hug her, and I would listen. I don’t believe she would seek advice – she knew her wrongdoings. I would simply give her space where she could talk openly and share the load. I would want to provide her with a place of solace to spill all the secrets and release them. 

Candice left Trent in that car wreck because she loves Abi and couldn’t bear the thought that she would find out about the affair like that. I know, I know, if she loved Abi so much why did Trent and her continue their affair over 20 years? I could talk about this for hours, and perhaps that’s another talk another time. The point is, she is flawed – we are all flawed – that’s humanity for you. Perfection does not exist. In her humanity lies her complexity and her beauty.

Which series or movies are you streaming on Showmax?

The Outsider – Cynthia Erivo is EVERYTHING!

Temptation Island – Don’t judge me!! But, come on! These shows are NUTS! Total escapism.

Tali’s Baby Diary – I know this is only coming out in 2021, but I am a huge fan of Tali’s Wedding Diary! I loved every minute of it – I laughed out loud ALL. THE. TIME. I cannot wait to see the second season. (Stream it on Showmax now!)