Sex in Afrikaans: All episodes recap

When it launched, appropriately enough on Valentine’s Day, the Showmax Original documentary series Sex In Afrikaans broke the record viewership figure previously held by its first crime docuseries, Devilsdorp. Showing that Showmax’s South African audience is responsible in these matters, that number peaked after 8pm. This is presumably once the kids had been safely tucked into bed, in compliance with the 18SNLV age restriction.

The six-part series reveals ordinary people with extraordinary sex lives. It’s eye-opening even for those who consider themselves liberal, permissive, experienced and adventurous. Of course, the participants are also Afrikaans. This puts paid to the preconception – probably because of a staid history rooted in the church – that they are conservative and prim. Maybe in public but certainly not in private, where they are engaged in all sorts of bedroom shenanigans. 

The format of Sex In Afrikaans is twofold. Interviews with sex workers, porn actors, swingers and fetishists; and a group discussion between four couples (three straight, one gay) and two singles. It’s facilitated by clinical psychologist Bradley R Daniels, with his impeccable credentials. They chat about their own sex lives as well as those they have witnessed in the interviews. 

Sex In Afrikaans is a frank and open conversation about what goes on behind the closed doors in cities and dorpies around South Africa, and it holds nothing back. Absolutely nothing.

Watch the trailer

Sex in Afrikaans Episode 1 recap: Sex Workers

It’s known as the oldest profession in the world, and sex workers have been providing a crucial service since time began. Despite this, there’s still some stigma still being attached to the industry. This episode aims to draw back the curtain as it introduces viewers to male and female sex workers who are not ashamed of what they do.

They are among the estimated more than 150 000 sex workers in South Africa, which in itself sounds like a rather conservative number for our total population – charging anything from R100 to R1000 an hour. If you’ve hired a stripper for a stag or hen party, you have in fact hired a sex worker, so let that sink in for a moment. “Sex with another person [other than my girlfriend] is just sex,” says Juan. “It’s an animal need.”

Meet the panellists 

Now it’s time to meet the panellists. Tracy (for whom sex is “kak lekker”) and Brady, are both the  children of pastors, which makes their participation and candour even more interesting. Plus we all now know Tracy is a very lucky lady.

Our next couple is Erika, 37, who works in admin, and Kobus, 41, an alarm technician. They’ve been married for 15 years and have two children and a healthy sex life. This includes saucy WhatsApp messages during the day so by the time Kobus gets home after work, he’s hot to trot. Erica says she “is mal oor seks” and is turned on by bondage.

Neil was married to a woman for 10 years because he thought being gay meant there was something wrong with him. Now he’s with Justin, who sees him as someone he can grow old with. Neil says his porn choice is gay, buff, muscular and up close.

The final couple in the group is Karl, 29 from Boksburg, who had 77 sexual partners in his life before his now-wife Reina. He once even had a book in which he wrote them all down. Sex In Afrikaans is a completely safe, and judgement-free zone.

Also in the discussion group is Paul, single after two marriages, 60 and retired; and singer Rea, also single, who turns out to be the most basic of the group, which she admits upfront. She’s a good sport but at the end of it all, she’s like “no thanks, not for me”. As much as nobody is shy about sharing their former secrets, Rea is not shy about saying uh-uh.

Sex in Afrikaans Episode 2 recap: Sex Toys

Fun fact: South Africans are very curious about sex toys, ranking third in the world for Google searches on the topic. “Afrikaans people and the adult industry go hand in hand, that’s all I can tell you,” says Arthur Calamaras. He’s the owner of Adult World, which has dozens of branches around the country. Jessica, 20, works at Luvland (52 branches) in Roodepoort and she says Afrikaans people come in there every day, young to old, many more than English customers.

In this episode, we also meet Bennie, who is testing an extremely realistic sex doll, nothing like those surprised blow-up ones of old. Bennie leaves little to our imaginations. 

Sex in Afrikaans Episode 3 recap: Pornography

We’ve come a long way since Scope magazine and stars over nipples, via dodgy videos, to an internet positively swollen with easily accessible porn. There are two undisputed facts, says narrator Rian van Heerden (who produced the show through Provoco). One, porn has always been very popular among Afrikaans speakers. Two, back in the day, there was a man who was the king of pornography. His name is Joe Theron and he says it himself in his interview introduction: “I was the pornography king in the 90s.” Hustler and Loslyf are among his credentials, and he made SA’s first porno, Africa Rising.

The group discusses their personal porn preferences. Rea says she doesn’t watch it on purpose but it just lands up on her laptop. She doesn’t like it though – it makes her feel dirty.

Sex in Afrikaans Episode 4 recap: Swinging

First of all, there are probably far more people swinging than you think. Some 40 000 are “registered” in South Africa and there’s a pretty good chance someone you know is swinging like a pendulum every chance they get. The other thing you might have got wrong, or not quite right, is that swinging isn’t a free for all orgy. There are rules and etiquette, and everyone’s desires and boundaries must be respected, within all the various permutations and options.

It’s certainly not for everyone but like any sexual practice, when incorporated into a loving and consensual context or relationship in which no one gets hurt (unless they want to be; see next episode), it can be pleasurable and even beneficial. 

Sex in Afrikaans Episode 5 recap: BDSM

Divided into slaves, submissives and followers, BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism, and the acronym has largely replaced the earlier term “sadomasochism”), like swinging, comes with a complex set of rules and enormous amounts of trust. Fifty Shades of Grey is the movie version. In this episode, we meet dominatrices, and at least one of them – in her 50s – is not what you’d expect, although the dress code is. Mistress Berlin, a professional dominatrix for 12 years, says she is your “biggest fantasy and your worst nightmare”. “And I’m a goddess,” she adds.

Go down into the dungeon to explore the whips and chains, and learn it’s not always about pain, but sometimes worship, and even a submissive has a choice.

Sex in Afrikaans Episode 6 recap: Fetishes

In the final episode, Sex In Afrikaans delves into fetishes, a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, or part of the body not usually associated with sex. We meet an 81-year-old man whose greatest pleasure is to envelop himself literally from head to toe in tight latex. Another likes to dress and behave like a baby. From golden showers to voyeurism, anything goes. If you can imagine it, you can do it. And you will find someone to do it with, or to. There’s a lid for every pot, and unicorns do exist.

We meet another dominatrix, Mistress Cleo, who is the owner of Fetish Haven, where Bradley and our new friends from the group attend a wrap party that covers all the topics and trinkets from the previous episodes. Afterwards, they describe their experience of being on the show, and what new things they hope to try.

Says producer Rian van Heerden: “I think that every person who participated is a pioneer and is very brave indeed.” He is most certainly not wrong.