“No one wins in war” - Nikki Comninos on Unspoken War

Unspoken War, the new documentary series from International Emmy nominee IdeaCandy,  is now streaming on Showmax and premieres on M-Net (DStv Channel 101) at 9PM tonight, Wednesday, 12 November 2025.

The raw and haunting documentary series explores the brutal, covert war between 1966 and 1989. It’s a war we can’t even agree on the name for, variously known as the South African Border War, the Angolan Bush War, or the Namibian War of Independence.

“We are all deeply connected to this war in so many ways,” says director Nikki Comninos (Convict Conman, Tracking Thabo Bester). “If you live in southern Africa,  you have been touched by it – whether a family member fought in the war or resisted it, or because you were impacted by the imprint these conflicts left on society. The reverberations are everywhere – in generational relationships, community dynamics, the security industry, and even in boarding school and hostel culture. This war shaped modern South Africa profoundly, yet it remains largely unexamined in our national conversation. That silence felt dangerous.”

Nikki was born in Zimbabwe as a result of the war. “My father had been avoiding conscription by studying, but once he’d run out of deferment options, he went into political exile,” she saysHer mother, Julie Frederikse, covered the war as a foreign correspondent. She shared her personal archive and appears in the series. 

“The experience brought us closer – she was both a historical resource and a huge emotional support,” says Nikki. “I learned things about her I never knew, even though we’re close. I didn’t realise she flew into the operational area for press tours. As a female journalist at that time, she was exceptionally determined – a tough cookie, as they say.”

Watch the trailer for Unspoken War

For Nikki, now was the time to tell the story of the war because “this history was disappearing…  The generation that fought in this war is ageing, and many were taking their stories to the grave – whether from shame, trauma, or the belief that no one wanted to listen. We realised if we didn't document these voices now, we'd lose them forever.”

When she started researching, Nikki quickly realised, “There wasn’t a single, consolidated record of this part of history. That’s when I understood the importance and gravity of this project.”

In the research process, she found definite gaps in the historical record. “War tends to be told through a very masculine lens,” she says. “We definitely wanted to counter that with this series. Women and children are brushed over as casualties of war, but they endure the absences and the trauma that comes home. I was interested in the private grief and resilience in this story. Practically, I hope this series becomes a resource for families trying to understand their parents or grandparents.”

In Unspoken War, her mother Julie speaks about the importance of the voice of the people, of hearing what people think at a grassroots level, rather than just accepting the official version. This resonated with Nikki.

“Official narratives are often sanitised or weaponised for political purposes,” she says. “We interviewed a variety of people – conscripts, Special Battalion leaders, conscientious objectors, exiles, families, PLAN [People’s Liberation Army of Namibia] fighters – because the truth exists in the aggregate of lived experience, not in official statements. That grassroots approach reveals the human cost that official records can't capture and often try to conceal.”

Some of the soldiers she interviewed had been conscripted at just 16 years old. “What became clear to me is that when elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. That was my lasting takeaway – all the soldiers we spoke to were hurting. But often that hurt was masked by foregrounding other emotions. Their stories revealed a deep paradox: expressing pride in their service while simultaneously showing signs of deep trauma. That cognitive dissonance, that need to find meaning in their suffering, was heartbreaking. It was incredibly sad to see these soldiers broken by war, and then to look at the world today and see how many wars are being fought. It’s painful to know how much more trauma is being created that future generations will have to carry. No one wins in war.“

This came through repeatedly in her interviews. “Almost everyone, regardless of which side they were on, felt betrayed,” says Nikki. “Conscripts felt betrayed by the state that sent them. Resisters also felt betrayed by their political systems. Families felt betrayed by the silence. Everyone shared the experience of being a pawn in war. That shared sense of betrayal became a through-line I hadn't anticipated.”

Another surprise was the effect the interviews had on her subjects, many of whom were sharing their stories for the first time. “Many expressed thanks afterwards, and that suggested to me that the act of telling, of being heard, has value in itself,” says Nikki. “Whether it facilitates real change is harder to measure, but bearing witness matters. I started seeing the documentary not just as a historical record but as something that might contribute to reconciliation.”

She hopes that Unspoken War “creates permission for people to finally speak about what they've been carrying in silence. For me, a happy ending would mean a greater understanding between us all – opening up a space for understanding other people's pressures, motivations, and experiences. We are all human and we share universal emotions and desires, even though from the outside it often seems there is an inconceivable divide between us. We are more the same than we want to believe.” 

Binge Unspoken War on Showmax now or watch at 9PM on Wednesdays on M-Net until 10 December 2025.