Reënboogrant's first term report

No more pencils, no more books! 2025’s first real school holidays are here and, like the students at Hoërskool Reënboogrant, we are revelling in the time off. Of course, their new term has already started. As Shani Brink’s (Minke Marais) voiceover tells us in episode 25, “The first half of the year is meant for making mistakes and learning. There were many mistakes! Many moments of regret and drama. Oh! So much drama. But the holidays are over, and the second half is another chance to thrive. Yip! The past is behind us. No bad decisions. No drama.” 

Not so fast, young lady. There’s the small matter of everyone’s first term reports. Let’s take a look, shall we? And don’t think you can just forge Dad’s signature this time.

Swot up on Reënboogrant now. New episodes Wednesdays on Showmax.

Economic Management Sciences and Mathematics: F

Where do we even begin? Aside from teachers like Mr Bothma (Deon Coetzee) who can’t put two and two together without blaming five, we had Shani Brink (Minke Marais) begging school bully Japie Coetzee (Danté Elliot) for money to pay her photographer’s fee so she could put together a portfolio for the Face of the Future modelling competition with no plan for paying him back.

Jacques Bronkhorst (Vian Singleton) got arrested for trying to make money by dealing drugs and wound up being sent to reform school. Rachelle Labuschagne (Marelee Ferreira) bribed people with stacks of Daddy’s cash to win the Face of the Future modelling contest, only to moan that the combined value of the prizes she won was less than the price of one pair of her vintage shoes.

Shani and her brother Dolf (Paul Strydom) roped their schoolmates into a “Showdown vir Soens” concert to raise money to help with their sister Sunette’s (Mila De Villiers) medical expenses. And while that was a beautiful and uplifting gesture, it was a bit puzzling because all treatments for childhood leukaemia, including lymphoblastic leukaemia, are covered in full by every medical aid in South Africa under law, thanks to the Prescribed Minimum Benefits programme.

Finally, when Tina Swanepoel (Cara Kruger) stole tips from the waiters during Showdown vir Soens, she didn’t just rake in a serious karmic debt, she wound up owing Japie a favour when he caught her but didn’t expose her. That’s a debt she cannot afford. So it’s remedial maths for everyone!

Social sciences: A+

Despite the school’s obsession with romance and rugby, there is one Reënboogrant firebrand for social justice: rapper, gifted student, and all-round cool guy Bongi Buthelezi (Johnny Potsanyane). 

In Episode 6, Bongi attempted his first student revolt over the curriculum excluding brilliant and relevant South African writers in favour of Shakespeare. And he did it by spontaneously updating a Shakespearean sonnet, only for Mr Bothma to crack down on him, accusing the students of carrying on like a bunch of “barbarians” and claiming that Shakespeare is respectable and rap is just a form of rebellion. Bongi argued his point with both passion and logic but Mr Bothma remained closed-minded. In retaliation, Bongi locked the teachers in the staffroom to kick off his protest, telling them that they’d all stay right where they were until the “winds of change open that door”. Alas, Bongi needed to do more groundwork with his fellow students and his statement of intent before kicking off the revolution. As head boy Dolf advised him, “Ask your ouma”. 

These incidents, along with Bongi’s attempted rap takeover at the May dance, painted a target on Bongi’s back and Mr Bothma pointed fingers at Bongi for every crime on school grounds, from supposed drug dealing, to when someone spray painted the school with graffiti stating “Bothma is ’n perwert” in Episode 17. But as Bongi pointed out, he can at least spell. Mr. Bothma’s new merit points system and crackdown on students in response to the graffiti had Bongi rallying protests again. Even after Mr Bothma physically manhandled him, Bongi refused to sign the unjust code of conduct. When the school didn’t meet the students’ demands, Bongi escalated, taking his story to the newspapers and exposing the school’s “archaic classism”. He then used that access to the media as leverage while negotiating with Principal Venter (Zane Meas) and Mr Bothma to revise the merit points system through student-teacher collaboration. But while Bongi aced his social studies at a university level, there have been consequences, including false accusations, violent assault and even kidnapping. 

History: F

There is a saying that the Reënboogrant students seem to be ignoring: If they shenan once, they’re going to shenan again. That’s just basic history! Looking at their history with shenaniganisers Japie and Tina (more on her later), the entire school gets a failing grade, perhaps aside from golden boy Pierre du Toit (Xander Venter) who quipped that the last time that Japie greeted anyone without having an agenda was probably back in primary school, and Bongi, who declared that he wouldn’t attend Japie’s party “even if you sent me an invitation on golden paper!” Yet most students aren’t shunning him like a plague rat. In the first term alone…

• Jealous Japie blackmailed Dolf using sneaky smoochy-smoochy photos that could expose Dolf’s secret relationship with poor little rich girl Rachelle. 
• During the wild birthday party Japie threw for himself in Episode 4, he beat Shani’s boyfriend Johan Viljoen (Righard van Jaarsveld) into a literal coma after Johan caught him trying to rape Shani while she was blackout drunk. But instead of Japie facing the music for criminal assault, Dolf claimed that he’d spiked the alcohol as a “prank” for his birthday to “protect” Shani’s and the school. Dolf lost his position as head boy, and with everyone putting the blame on Dolf, nobody got to the bottom of why Japie beat Johan into a coma. That was no “boys will be boys” punch-up.
• Since we can’t have nice things with Japie around, he rolled up drunk and tried to wreck the May Dance in Episode 9, too. To be fair, it arrived pre-wrecked thanks to the “prison social” set of strict rules and regulations, capped with Mr Bothma’s choice to hire sokkie band Die Troebadoere. He promised students that the band knew both “Johannes Kombuis and Koos Kerkorrel”. Imagine!
• In Episode 16 Japie took Sunette on a date with a clear agenda of having sex with her. When she tried to cut his seduction short by claiming she needed to meet with her friend Ans du Preez (Chrizaan Raath), he cruelly referred to Ans as “Chubbers” and attempted to assault Sunette, ignoring her order to stop touching her, and telling her, “You want this, my doll”, despite her obvious terror. Sunette escaped, but the incident left her feeling too powerless to expose Japie. 
• In Episode 19 Japie and Rachelle conspired to have the photographer taking the modeling photo set for Shani’s Face of the Future portfolio make her pose with her finger at the corner of her mouth like Dr Evil in the Austin Powers movies, ply her with alcohol, and lure her into wearing inappropriately skimpy lingerie. 
• In Episode 20 when Bongi confronted Japie about bullying the younger students, Japie threatened to frame him as the graffiti artist. Bongi warned him to watch his back, so when Japie got stabbed in an alleyway by two masked men in Episode 20, he accused Bongi. And in Episode 23, Japie’s dad Brandt Coetzee (Marcus Muller) had Bongi kidnapped and beaten up. The vrot apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Technology: C+ (with one A+ student wrecking the curve)

While the rest of the school is coasting to a C grade here, there is one exception. The A+ prize for most savvy and sus student on socials goes to snooping attention seeker Tina Swanepoel. In Episode 2 she applied her knowledge to set up a fake Instagram profile, posing as Shani. A dedicated haterade drinker, Shintaro Kago manga fan, and dark soul, Tina put in extra hours after school running her catfishing dating profile as Fitness influencer Carla de Witt before setting out to wreck Shani’s life. It was an obsession to the point that we were studying her bedroom looking for one of those serial killer altars covered in photos of Shani with the eyes scratched out. But Tina is a techno girl, so all of that hate was online instead. Her first posts on her ShaniiBriink Instagram were worth a giggle: “Everyone has flaws. Fortunately, I’m not everyone. #Perfection”. This was followed by a Backstabber Barbie post criticising Shani’s best friend Lizane Jacobs (Deidré Barnard): “Who taught you to dress, Liz?”

On top of this, it took until Episode 13 for anyone to suspect Tina of being the cyberbully behind the “Sus or Stupid” account. And then it was by accident, when Ans saw a photo pop up on Sus or Stupid that could only have been taken from the physical location where Tina was standing when Ans spied her taking snaps on her phone during the cheerleader sleepover. 

Tina only really messed up in the real world, when she tried to frame Shani for criticising the school in the media in Episode 18, and then tried to frame her as the school graffiti artist in Episode 19. Alas for Tina, one of the other students, Marius Naudé (Wilco Meyer), saw her plant the evidence and started a reverse catfishing scheme to catch her out with a fake Sus or Stupid scoop in Episode 20. Whoops! Time to swot up on your terrible spelling, Tina! 

Now tell us why everyone had completely forgiven sneaky Tina by the next episode? This is another reason Reënboogrant’s students are failing history.

Creative Arts, Drama: A+

As the new term starts at Reënboogrant in Episode 25, the students are clamouring for roles in Henk (Kaz McFadden) and Maryna Brink’s (Juanita de Villiers) television series Anderkant die Reënboog. From what we’ve overheard during production meetings between Phoenix Films and Icarus Studios, it’s going to be raunchy and risque with “intimate scenes between teenagers” and aims to “tell the truth in a gritty and edgy way.” So, you know, Euphoria. Even though Shani and Sunette are Maryna’s daughters, as producer, she will be doing her utmost to keep auditions fair when casting the series around hot, Cape Town-based actor Chris Fick (Simeon Scholtz).

One thing is sure: the kids of Reënboogrant will need to keep all their past term’s drama lessons in mind because from the moment Chris Fick pulled into Ms Wasserman’s (Lian Kögl) parking space in Episode 25, we knew he was trouble. Calling a teacher by her first name, going around smooching hands and smirking, and flaunting his “main character energy”? Sure he played fullback for Western Province during Craven Week Rugby or whatever, but that is actually Sus or Stupid. We’ve also heard that Chris has a little black book full of drama prepared, and he’s going to use it to play the girls off against each other.

PS: special recognition for dedication to drama goes to Shani, who has been throwing herself heart and soul into preparing for a Hollywood career since Episode 1. She hasn’t let her flop audition for the American School of Acting slow her down. We have to respect the hustle behind trying to ask your scene partner to act less naturally and look less pretty so you look better!

Swot up on Reënboogrant now. New episodes Wednesdays on Showmax.